Maybe it’s appropriate that I post about a very recent failure, after testifying to God’s glory in the last post. This is real life, and I fail our perfect Father, more than I know. I do know that I failed Him big time last night.
After a very long Sunday with a lot of driving, church, family and Christmas lights; my wife, 2 kids and I were pretty tired. Grace, our 3 year old, was pretty loud in the car and we were a impatient with her. Daniel, our 1 year old, was exhausted and fussy and although Kate and I went to bed with the intention of praying together we did not. I would say that we we both rude to each other and failed to love as Jesus loves.
This morning, I was awoken at 3:30 by a very disturbing dream. Without getting into all the detail, I dreamt an ex-girlfriend had called me and was trying to convince me to come back to her. It seemed so real and she was very convincing that when I woke up, I was really seeking God about it. The dream was clearly not from the Lord. God is God and all He does is Good!(Psalm 119:68) But, that didn’t mean that He wouldn’t show me something from it.
So I was on my knees, asking forgiveness, seeking guidance and after a very long time; I believe He showed me an image. I saw a bright house at the top of a hill, it was lit up in the night sky, even though everything else was dark. I was climbing a very steep hill underneath it but, was not very far from the top. I found myself suddenly praying something that I have never prayed before; “Show me the good handholds and footholds..” and that was it…
After thanking God for being gracious to me; I dug deeper and searched online for “handholds/footholds and the Bible”. Immediately, I found Eph.4:26,27. DUH, ME!
“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”
OOPS! I had just done that last night!
How could I have forgotten that?! I had actually memorized those verses and still completely forgotten it. But, God knew exactly what to tell me and now I knew why I had the awful dream, had woken up so early and had seen that image.
I have given the enemy a foothold but, God was drawing me to repentance by His kindness! (Romans 2:4) Thank God that as We draw near to God, He draws near to us! (James 4:8) Next time I need to also “Submit to God (FIRST) and resist the devil and he will flee…”(James 4:7)